


oh, the things i do for bells

by Pterodactyl



Category: Glee
Genre: ACNH induced smut, M/M, bells for blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pterodactyl/pseuds/Pterodactyl
Summary: kurt has bells. blaine needs bells. things transpire.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	oh, the things i do for bells

It’s Saturday afternoon and they’re both still in bed after a lazy morning and an even lazier lunch. Blaine’s head is on Kurt’s shoulder, his hair tickling Kurt’s cheek, and if Kurt turns his head a fraction of an inch he can see Blaine’s thumb tapping on the  _ A _ button as he speeds through crafting bait. Kurt himself is busy unloading approximately two hundred tarantulas onto Flick, the result of several weeks of terraforming every Nook Miles island he flew to. Blaine had been aghast when he visited Fire Island a few days ago and saw that Kurt’s house and the surrounding land was piled high with tarantulas after his storage space ran out, but he’s about to make enough to pay off his loan, build three zen bridges  _ and _ a staircase, so it seems a worthy aesthetic sacrifice.

“Babe?”

“Hmm?” Kurt tilts his head, not looking up from the screen of his switch as mini-Kurt hands over more arachnids.

“Can you spare some of your millions of bells for your darling?” He can tell by Blaine’s voice that he’s pulling out the puppy-dog eyes, so he puts the switch down. Blaine is, indeed, giving him very sparkly puppy eyes. “Some of my millions of bells?”

“Please?” Blaine pouts, “What do you want in exchange?”

Kurt laughs. “Nothing, babe, it’s fine. How many? Like five hundred thousand? I can spare a million...”

The covers rustle as Blaine disappears under them, and Kurt snickers. “Are you cold? I can grab a blanket - _oh_ my god, what are you doing?”

Blaine’s cold hand has landed on Kurt’s thigh, sneaking up the leg of his boxers. Kurt flips the comforter back, console in one hand as he laughs. “Blaine, sweetheart, what are you -?”

“I thought you said blowjob,” Blaine says, doing a great job of appearing confused, “You didn’t?”

“I said I’d give you a million _bells_ , not that I needed a _blow_ -” Kurt stutters as Blaine’s hand brushes his inner thigh, and the switch falls from his fingers as Blaine mouths at him through his underwear.

“It only seems fair,” Blaine murmurs as Kurt’s other hand comes to settle on his head, fingers sinking into his curls, “One million bells is a _big_ number, Kurt.” The emphasis on _big_ does not pass Kurt by.

“I -” Kurt lets out a shaky breath as Blaine tucks his fingertips into his waistband, “I guess that’s - an entirely reasonable exchange.”

“Unless you want to keep selling tarantulas to a chameleon?” Blaine asks, looking up. Kurt laughs, lifting his hips up so Blaine can pull his boxers off. “I think that can probably w-wait, _oh_ , Blaine -”

His eyes close as Blaine’s hand wraps around his dick, gently stroking as he presses a kiss to Kurt’s skin. They know each other’s bodies so well now that it doesn’t take long before Kurt’s pressing his hips up into each pass of Blaine’s fist, his breathing coming harder as Blaine sucks what will undoubtedly be a magnificent hickey into his inner thigh.

“Blaine,” Kurt whines, “Baby, please, will you just -”

“I’m giving you the full Anderson experience,” Blaine says, clearly enjoying himself, “It’s only fair, for a million bells.”

“I’m going to start cutting my contribution to the Anderson fund in a minute.” Kurt opens his eyes and looks down to see the devilish grin on Blaine’s face, cursing the fact that his husband is _such_ a brat.

“No you’re not,” Blaine leans down, still smiling, “You love me too much.”

Kurt’s reply is lost in a moan as Blaine’s lips close around the head of his cock, his hips twitching upwards. He closes his eyes again, breathless at the scorching heat of Blaine’s mouth, and no matter _how_ many times Blaine ends up between his legs like this it always feels as good as the first time.

“God, Blaine, you’re so good,” Kurt groans as Blaine’s tongue teases his foreskin, then flattens as his head drops, taking Kurt deeper, sucking just the right side of too hard. If it weren’t for how they’d spent their time earlier that morning, Kurt would be on edge already - but as it is, he can sink both hands into Blaine’s hair and just _feel_ as his wonderful, perfect husband teases and touches and licks and sucks him until he’s writhing against the bed, chest rising and falling rapidly. It’s taking everything in him not to thrust up, not to fuck Blaine’s mouth because it’s frankly rude to do so without asking permission, but then Blaine digs his fingers into Kurt’s ass, pressing him up and into his mouth, and Kurt lets out a gasp and gives in. The angle is a little awkward, and one of his legs is trapped so he can’t quite get the leverage he wants, but there’s enough to shallowly pitch his hips up as Blaine sinks down to meet him halfway. Kurt’s fingers tighten in Blaine’s hair, and the resulting moan that rumbles in his husband’s throat is, in a single word, _delicious._ There’s heat knotting in his belly, and Kurt manages to whisper, “Blaine, sweetheart, I - I’m gonna -”

Blaine’s fingers dig into his ass again in a silent affirmation, his fingernails catching a little, and that sharp scratch of pain does nothing but add to the tightening in his stomach as he throws his head back again, trying to catch his breath. “Oh, fuck, Blaine, yes, I - just a little more, please -”

Blaine whimpers as Kurt tugs at his hair, and that’s it - the sound, the sensation, it sends him crashing over the edge with Blaine’s name on his tongue, screwing his eyes up so tight that stars explode on the backs of his eyelids. Blaine’s throat works around him as he swallows and it’s just a little too much - Kurt lets out a hiss of pleasure-pain and his husband withdraws, pressing a kiss to his hipbone. It takes him a moment to re-engage his brain, uncurl his fingers from Blaine’s hair and open his eyes, blinking in the now too-bright afternoon sunshine.

“Good?” Blaine asks, smiling like the cat who got the cream. Kurt laughs, running his hand through his own hair, now undoubtedly a mess. “Are you kidding?”

“Just checking,” Blaine basically _purrs_ , crawling up the bed until he’s straddling Kurt’s torso. Kurt runs his fingers up into the hair at the back of Blaine’s head, pulling him down into a kiss that only gets deeper when he tastes himself on Blaine’s tongue. His husband hums, and Kurt can feel his lips curve up into a smile.

“So,” Kurt says, his hand trailing down the cut of Blaine’s hip, past the waistband of his sweatpants, to find the bulge of his own erection, “Would you like your bells before or after my reciprocation?”

“My what?” Blaine’s voice hitches as Kurt touches him through the fabric, his head falling against Kurt’s shoulder.

“Your bells.” Kurt can’t hide the amusement in his voice. “You know, for the million dollar blowjob you just gave me?”

Blaine snorts and leans up to kiss Kurt, admonishing him with a gentle bite to his bottom lip. “You know what?”

“Pray, tell.” Kurt’s fingers runs down the curve of Blaine’s spine, pushing his pants down to get a handful of his ass.

“I think the bells can wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was based off a reddit post which i sent to the groupchat and we decided blaine would absolutely give a bj for a million bells, and in fact, would probably ask for a million bells as an excuse to give kurt a bj. and such, this fic was written in two hours. i have few regrets.  
> jules and natalie you're to blame for this.


End file.
